Addictions (Random Writings)

There are so many addictions out there. Some people are addicted to chocolate, or video games, or food, or music. Me, I'm addicted to kissing. Boys as well. They're such mysterious creatures. They're addicted to some of the same things as I am, so I tend to get along with them pretty well. They like kissing, making out, etc. I like kissing, making out, etc. Also, I can do it without thinking of it as something 'important'. I can do it just for fun, where as other girls are like 'ohmygawd Jessica, he loves me. We made out the other day, but we're not going out. Yet.' I don't see the whole need for commitment when it comes to making out. Now sex is a different story. I mean yeah, everyone has their moments, but do you really need to have multiple one night stands? One is enough, maybe two, but then I think your need for random sex with a stranger should be satisfied. If it isn't I don't know what to tell you, but you need some help. ANYWAYS, considering that I'm addicted to making out and such, I've been searching and whatnot for worthy candidates, but there seems to be none. Nearly all of them are either not single or unreachable. :/ It kinda really sucks. But I don't really know how to continue this so I'm just gonna stop.

Lyrics

It's like you're a drug, it's like you're a demon I can't face down, it's like I'm stuck, it's like I'm running from you all the time, and I know I let you have all the power, it's like the only company I have is misery all around. . .
It's like I can't breathe, it's like I can't see anything, nothing but you, I'm addicted to you. . .
I'm hooked on you, I need a fix, I can't take it, just one more hit I promise I can deal with it, I'll handle it, quit it, just one more time, then that's it, just a little bit more to get me through this. . .
-Kelly Clarkson

Untitled (Poem)

He wants to use me

He constantly abuses me

Not in the physical sense

But my heart is mangled constantly

By his heartless acts

Some people love me

Try hard to gain my love

But because of his constant toying

I only have the strenghth

To love him

I don't know why

He can affect me so deeply

My heart beats like a drum at his presense

I smile when I see him

Although the pain that is left

When he leaves, yet lingers

Kills me slowly

Every single time

I have nothing left

But a shell of a person

Left over from what he took

I have no heart

I have no soul

I am left with addictions

I need him

I need everything that he took

I cannot survive much longer

If I am forced to survive it alone

Tattoos From a New Perspective (Random Thoughts)

Tattoos are a way of expressing what is inside, on the skin. The art of the soul can only be expressed in so many ways. The voice, what we say, what we sing, how we say things, can express simply a small part of who we are as people. True beauty is in those who have found what is in their soul, can picture it, and are willing to place it on their bodies for all to see. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but they are simply the vessels by which we view the souls of others. You can see some of a soul in the eyes. You can see the emotion, you can see the danger, you can see the person, but you cannot picture what is inside the soul. You only see the shield over which we protect our souls. When you have the bravery to display your soul on your skin, you are truly a strong soul. Having symbols and pointless tattoos makes the picture of the soul tainted. You can't see the true beauty if it's being scummed up by pointless imagery. The flowing lines and extravagant pictures that many decide to put on their bodies represent what they've been through and who they admire, whether clearly stated or simply put forth symbolically. When you get a tattoo you are letting the soul leak out onto a canvas that will stay with you forever, reminding you of your past and the way that your soul grew and flourished. It is not only a way to express what is in your soul, but a way to track the progress of your soul on it's way through this tragic, beautiful, unpredictable thing we call life.

"I love you" or "I lust for you" (Ranting to No One in Particular)

If you say I love you to someone, don't you think you should mean it? I mean with every fiber of your being. You shouldn't doubt it for one second. If you say I love you and really it's I lust for you, you aren't being truthful. I understand that you think it makes the other person feel better about you fucking thier brains out, but it really doesn't make it any better for them. After they realize that it was simply lust, things in their lives just slowly pull apart and they realize that maybe nobody ever loved them and nobody ever will. It makes some fearful of what people mean when the say those three words. We throw the words around so much that they mean near nothing anymore. I wish that when someone tells me they love me, they mean it. I also hope that they know what the feeling is. It's not simply, "I want you." It's, "I want you, and I want to be with you, nobody else, no matter what we go through." Nobody understands it. Then we have holidays to promote those three little words and it becomes about the material things and not the feelings, and making you feel like you belong to that person and nobody else and that they belong to you and nobody else. Valentine's Day is by far the worst holiday ever created by American companies. It surely wasn't created by people alone. They had to add the twist of buying things to it, just like they do with every other holiday that started out simple and with traditions. I'm simply saying that if you love someone, and truly love someone, not just want to fuck them, then you should show it with actions, not buying things or just saying things. Also, if you love someone and a relationship is going difficult, don't abandon them for someone a few years younger who wants to have more sex and is pretty much a fucking whore.
Thank you,
Serena.